Tragically Funny Obit (Well, Fauxbit)

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the
following news. Please join me in remembering a great
icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection, and complications from repeated pokes in
the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two
children, John Dough, and Jane Dough, who has one in
the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father,
Pop Tart.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their
respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The
California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess
Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled
high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly
described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he
was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business,
but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
not considered a very smart "cookie", wasting much of
his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a
crusty old man, was considered a roll model for
millions.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.