Saturday, July 31, 2004

Quickie Quiz Time

Kinda fitting, since I'm considering heading back to get another degree:

What Do You Remember From School?

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

PBS Gay Marriage Poll and Other Assorted Stuff

PBS's gay marriage poll


Finally can get to spend some time in front this danged contraption without dodging storms and worrying when the next one will cruise into town. Tha past couple of nights, we've had some pretty serious storms pass though and it's been fun wondering if my power will be knocked out and having to deal with both cable tv and cable modem service be knocked out (yay Comcast!) Dunno if the Cox Cable people within the TooStoned city limits were affected but the Comcast (who has the contract for a lot of Pima County outside the limits) people certainly were. Unfortunately, this caused me to miss a good chunk of the convention on both nights. I caught some of it in re-runs,tho. Too bad I missed Barak Obama's speech. I heard it was quite good.

Thanx for the birthday wishes, all. Was a quiet one but enjoyable. Spent it at home being a total slug-a-bed and speaking with the 'rents and a few friends.

Tuesday I finally went out and got myself a new shower head and hose if the master bath shower stall. The copper wrapping on the old hose is frayed and needs to be replaced. It has a tendancy of giving me scratches from a jagged edge. Not fun. Alas, that'll take 3 weeks or so to arrive. The shower head, on the other hand, was in stock and I was able to take that home and install it (one of my few Butch Moments) Great fun! TooStoned has notoriously hard water so the old head was getting clogged up with mineral deposits. I tried soaking in in white vinager for several hours a few weeks back but that did nothing. The new one is supposedly deposit-resistant. We'll see if that's true.


All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight

"SAFETY LECTURE" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."


On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."


"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways to leave the aircraft."


"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."


As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National,a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"


After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as h#&% everything has shifted."


From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."


In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.


Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."


"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."


"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children... or other adults acting like children."


"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."


And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"


Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault... it was the asphalt!"


Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"


Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."


An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"


After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."


Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."


A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed and

after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Another Year...

Well, tomorrow is my birthday. Or as I call it - The 5th Anniversay of my 39th birthday. I don't mind the birthdays; afterall, I get nifty prezzies and am the center of attention (yay, Leos!), but the age is not my fave part. My 40th was NOT my fave one by any means! That magical number was a dreaded one. "40" seemed to be sounding! And I do NOT feel anywhere near that age at all! Mid to late 20's is more like it! Maybe it's arrested development or maybe it's a good case of Peter Pan Syndrome...I dunno. Whatever it may be, I just don't feel "that *old*"! Or maybe it's just that being the youngest on both sides of the family, I saw everyone else get to be those "old ages" so I can't seem to see *myself* at that age.

Anyway, I'll get over it. What else can I do? And if anyone wants to help to soothe the horridness of getting older, yer more than welcome to check out my wish list...over there on the left, bottom of the links! (Okay, so major shameless plug...I ain't proud! :-))

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Pizza the Hut

Oddest place for a gig I've ever seen.

Thursday, July 22, 2004


Just added an icon to the left column for a gay bloggers board (or tribe, in this case) over on Founded by these cool, hot dudes. Staight but not narrow folks also welcomed to join. If yer not a member of yet, go for it. It's free and easy as well as quite a fun place.

And I can believe I actually figured out the right coding and location to do it in! Shiiiitt! I'm so proud!

The Continuing Saga of Celebrity Dumping and Politics

Just an FYI post -

A coalition of GLBT organizations is hosting Unity 04, a "celebration of GLBT strength and unity," which just happens to be taking place in Boston while the Democratic Convention is in town.

Anyways, Margaret Cho was lined up as the featured entertainment, but this is no longer the case. HRC now lists the featured entertainment as "special performances" by Brian McKnight and Vanessa Carlton.

Some of the organizations chickened out. After the Whoopi controvery, they're afraid of igniting another media firestorm with Cho's material. Cho's manager pointed out, though, "Dennis Miller can make gay jokes about Senators Kerry and Edwards at a recent Bush rally in Wisconsin to a complete absence of media scrutiny. No one demanded a tape of that event or alleged that his comments as a comedian might reflect poorly on Bush." She alleges the decision was made due to pressure from the DNC or the Kerry campaign, but sponsors of the event deny this.

HRC claims it was a decision made by the group sponors, but not all the groups involved agreed with the decision. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Thursday withdrew its sponsorship of Unity 2004. "We are dismayed that Margaret Cho has been disinvited," said NGLTF executive director Matt Foreman. Gay Democrats are also distancing themselves from the decision to dump Cho. "It wasn't our decision," said John Marble, a spokesperson for National Stonewall Democrats.

The Sponsors were: Bay State Stonewall Democrats, Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network, The Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund and Leadership Institute, Human Rights Campaign, MassEquality, National Center for Transgender Equality, National Coalition for LGBT Health, National Stonewall Democrats, The Task Force, Service Members Legal Defense Network.

You can contact HRC and tell them what you think about the decision using the info here:

You can let the NGLTF know you support (or oppose) their decision to withdraw using contact information on this page:

You can let the NSD know you support (or oppose) their decision to withdraw using contact information on this page:

You can contact GLAAD to express your opinion and ask where they stand here:

You can contact the Victory Fund's President with this email address:

You can contact NCTE here:

You can contact the National Coalition for LGBT Health here:

You can contact the SLDN here:

first seen on, news story at, more news stories trickling in on Yahoo News.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Odds and Ends

Okay...since I'm post migraine right now and not in the mood to sit still for a long period of time at the moment, I'll just post some quick stuff.

1) Migraines suck bong water. Although, I do feel trés MAH-velous afterwards.

2) Poor TooStoned's own Linda Ronstadt! Okay, people got pissy at what she said and walked out (as well as throwing drinks and destroying posters) but I think the hotel went overboard. They could've just said after the concert not to do that again in a concert at the Aladdin if and when they contracted her again and if she said "No way" well at least she had the choice instead of barring her from her room and escorting her out.

3) Here's some trivia I was e-mailed. Dunno how much of it is acurate.

The sentence:
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."
uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by
Western Union to Test telex/twx communications)

In every episode of Seinfeld
there is a Superman somewhere.

Average life span of a major league baseball is 7 pitches.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled
without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is
from the days of yore when the engines were pulled
by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground
floor and figured out how to walk up
straight staircases.

The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie."
(Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a
great king from history. Spades - King David;
Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts -Charlemagne;
and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their
unwanted people without killing them used to burn
their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter
pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes
on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts
measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the
fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target,
it got "the whole 9 yards."

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that
makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English
law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with
anything wider than your thumb.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile
in every five must be straight. These straight sections
are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the
army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many
bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s,
the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring
separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than
the lowest point in Colorado.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies,
you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money
in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The first toilet ever seen on television was on
"Leave It To Beaver."

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice
without a hunting license.

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with
enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads
for dating are already married.

Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment
in the palms of their hands.

Ten percent of the Russian government's income
comes from the sale of vodka.

On average, 100 people choke to death on
ball-point pens every year.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy
than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.

Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Five Jell-O flavors that flopped:
celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate.

Monday, July 19, 2004

IceBunny Dead Ahead!

Just found out that those (in)famous internet bunnies have reenacted yet another movie and this time it's "Titanic"

Sunday, July 18, 2004

The Original Toonces?

Friday, July 16, 2004

Frelling A!

For those 'scapers out there, here's a link to the Farscape: Peacekeeper Wars promo. (Scott - This is from the website)

AND! The mini-series will be aired in October!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love

New York Newsday has an article on the 2005 calendar of the FDNY firefighters.

Dunno about anyone else but in the video on the Newsday site, Damean Timm (Mr. December) set off a few pings on the 'dar.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Lights Out....

Had a horrid start to the day when the frelling power went off in my neighborhood just before 7am, abruptly waking me from a sound sleep (and I had only been asleep for a lousy hour and a half...yes, I'm a night owl) Called in to report it and got the usual "Well how do oyu know it's not just YOUR place?" attitude from the call taker. Apprently, it seemed to caused by repair work that wasn't done properly the night least that's what another TEP employee claimed. Luckily for me, the power was back on a half hour later.

The day got better when the wonderful news was announced that the Senate vote defeated the anti-gay marriage ammendment idea.

Political Cartoon du Jour

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Definitely NOT For Work or Anyone Under 18

A couple of links passed along by a friend who SWEARS she ain't that frigging golf broad! :-) (Hi, Nancy!)

Testicle Theater and Origami Underground (Origami Porn)

Monday, July 12, 2004

Liar, Liar

Thought this was a cute idea.

Buzz Flash's Pants On Fire Doll

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Officially Monsoon

Well, as of last night, it was offically declared we're back in the Monsoon Season as of last Thursday. There's got to be 3 days in a row of an average 54 dew point degrees per day and yesterday was the third day so, Thursday was it. Finally! The rain is needed out here since we've been in a draught situation for a few years now and with the fires going on in a few places around the state, it's badly needed.

We finally got rain in my part of TooStoned early this evening. Lotsa lightning, thunder, and rain. Good...what little bits of landscaping around Casa de Clutter (my humble abode) needed it. BUT! There's major power outages in neighboring nighborhoods. I was about to do laundry and noticed several brown-outs within a few seconds. That normally means some transformer or utility pole got zapped.

TEP finally put an announcment on their phone line saying which areas were hardest hit. A couple near me were the lucky ones...great.

I HATE having my power go out! Scared of it happening, is more like it especially at night when there's no sunlight to illumninate my place (besides, then there's no air conditioning either!) And being asthmatic, I have this fear of not having the ability to use my nebulizer in some off chance I need to. After several months of having to depend on it daily a couple of years back, I got conditioned. Besides, sitting in the dark alone with nothing to do except sweat and hope that TEP gets my power back on ASAP is not exactly my idea of a good time!

Thursday, July 08, 2004

What Movie Villain Are You? Quiz

And while I'm on the subject of quizzes, I was just reading LookingforSam's site and saw that he had done this Personality Quiz (memed from BoifromTroy and Famous Author Rob Byrnes) So I figured "Why not?" and here's my score:

Wackiness: 46/100
Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 54/100
Leadership: 34/100

You are an SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.

You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even.

Yeah....well...I wonder if Dr. Lecter saw himself as a hippie as well?

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Well, Dang!

I know it's 4 months after the fact but I just found out that

Mercedes McCambridge died this past March 2 at the age of 88! Dunno what exactly about her I liked, but I always did. Maybe it was just her name - the way it sounded like a perfect "stage name" although it was real or the lesbian tension between her and Joanie Dearest in Johnny Guitar or as the butch biker gang leader in a Touch of Evil I remember first becoming aware of her after The Exorcist opened in the theatres back in 1974 and found out that it was her. Sometime later, I saw All the King's Men and was a bit surprized that she was the woman behind "that voice"!

I think I'll plan a personal Mercedes McC. retrospective in her memory soon and snuggle up to the dvd player and a bag of popcorn.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Intelligence Riddle

A joke passed along by a friend...

George W. Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"

The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.

Back at the White House, Bush asks to speak with vice president Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."

Dick Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall.

Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!" Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."

Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Dazed and Confused

This was sent to me by a friend today and I figured I'd share. (I just wonder how many {ahem} "nice" notes I'll be getting?)

It's difficult to be a Republican in 2004, because you have to simultaneously believe that:

1. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him and Rumsfeld reassured him he was our buddy; a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him; a good guy when Cheney did business with him; but then a bad guy again when Bush junior needed a prop for his re-election campaign as the War President.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is to enforce UN resolutions against Iraq.

3. Standing Tall for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.

5. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing combat pay and veterans benefits.

7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

9. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle and alienate our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

10. HMOs and insurance companies can make huge profits while having the interest of the public at heart.

11. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

12. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

13. It's okay that the Bush family's Carlisle Group has done millions of dollars worth of business with the Bin Laden family.

14. Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying about the existence of WMDs to enlist support for an unprovoked, undeclared war and occupation, in which thousands of soldiers and civilians die, is solid defense policy in a War against Terrorism.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which apparently include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's Harken Oil stock trade and his conviction for drunk driving should be sealed in his Daddy's library, and is none of our business.

18. What Bill Clinton or John Kerry did in the 1960s was of vital national interest but what Bush did in the 80's is irrelevant.

19. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

20. Affirmative Action is wrong, but it's OK for your Daddy and his friends to help you graduate from Yale without studying very much, to dodge the draft in the Texas Air National Guard, to bail out your poorly run companies (Harken Oil and the Texas Rangers), to get you the Governorship of Texas and to have the Supreme Court appoint you President of the USA.

21. You're a conservative, but it's OK to spend like there's no tomorrow and run up deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same time, refunding as much tax money as possible to the richest 5% of Americans.

Contemplating these illogical paradoxes can take a toll on a healthy mind. So if a friend of yours has been acting a bit dazed and confused lately, be nice. He or she may be a Republican.

Hide Your Cats!

For those Alf fans out there, that furry Melmacian cat fancier has his own talk show starting July 7 at 10pm est! The side-kickiest Ed McMahon shall be his right-paw man and Drew Carey and Dennis Franz the first guests.