Chicks With Schticks

Since I'm feelin' a bit too much like a burnt cookie to do too much thinking right now, I'll just offer aomw "Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?" jokes that were passed along to me....


Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Our side of the
road is the right side of the road and the chicken is either against us
or for us. There is no middle ground for any chicken.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road.

DONALD RUMSFELD
I have known about the chicken crossing the road for several months. I
was investigating why the chicken moved but didn't feel it was necessary
to alert anyone.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax
dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
the government took from you to build road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any inside
information.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together -- in
peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMOND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook... and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GORE
That was my chicken! I invented the chicken.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?